If you are separated or divorced and have children with your ex, then you will be interested in knowing what parallel parenting is and also how important it is for your peace of mind and for the proper development of your children. It is not easy at all raising children while separated or divorced, but it may be more difficult if you also do not get along with your ex or you are not able to agree on the welfare of the children.

What is parallel parenting

Parallel parenting is co-parenting, that is, two parents working together to raise their children regardless of how they get along with each other. Although in these types of situations it is difficult for any conflict or complication in communication to ever arise. It is important to fight for good parenting in parallel, in this type of parenting both parents make decisions regarding the children when the children are in their care.

  • The first is to avoid conflict in front of children. Although one of the results may be to reduce conflict in general, the main goal is to reduce the amount of conflict that children can see and that can certainly affect them emotionally.
  • The second goal is to minimize contact between parents to avoid unpleasant situations. This objective of minimizing contact is not to completely override it, but rather to allow parents to see their children while minimizing possible conflicts between them.

When communication between parents can be conflictive due to the personal situations they live in, it is important that they think about the well-being of the children. One idea is to keep in touch to talk exclusively about the children by phone or email … sticking to just talking about the children and parenting.

How to Create a Good Parallel Parenting Plan

For this type of parenting to be successful, it is necessary that the parents do their part and that both agree to do the best possible for the benefit of the children in common. Parallel parenting plans must be very specific and are generally established in accordance with the custody that has been provided and with the rules established by a judge.

Parallel parenting plans are designed to have little communication with the ex and that the necessary and minimum amount is only to talk about the children. It is important to ensure that at least the following are specifically detailed in custody: 

  • Specific days for visits as well as the beginning and end periods of the same
  • Who will do the pick-up and drop-off and where will they take place
  • Visits cancellation time in case they are necessary for specific reasons
  • The responsibility of using transportation to move children from one place to another
  • Dispute resolution process, if there is a disagreement between parents about visiting hours (for example)
  • Family expense division
  • Responsibility for children’s extracurricular activities

In any case, what is essential is that both parents ensure the physical and emotional safety of their children, regardless of their personal relationship. Even if a romantic relationship has not ended well, it is important to think about the treasure that that relationship has brought to your lives: the children. Children come to this world by decision of their parents and for that alone, they deserve all the respect that may exist.